I Was Here First!

Life with toddlers is beautifully chaotic. Between tantrums, endless snacks, and the bedtime marathon, it can feel like there’s hardly a moment to breathe, let alone focus on your relationship with your spouse. Yet, maintaining a strong and intimate connection with your partner is crucial not only for your marriage but also for your family’s overall well-being. One strategy that may seem unconventional but is highly effective is scheduling intimacy.

Here’s why deliberately setting aside time for closeness with your wife can be a game-changer:

1. Protecting Your Relationship from the Chaos of Parenthood

Toddlers demand constant attention, and it’s easy for your marriage to take a backseat. By scheduling intimacy, you’re intentionally prioritizing your relationship. It sends a clear message: your bond with your spouse matters, and you’re committed to nurturing it.

This doesn’t just apply to physical intimacy; emotional intimacy also benefits from planned quality time. A quiet dinner after the kids are in bed, a weekend morning walk, or simply cuddling on the couch can strengthen your connection.

2. Creating Anticipation and Excitement

In the whirlwind of parenthood, spontaneity often takes a hit. While scheduling might feel mechanical at first, it actually builds anticipation. Knowing you have dedicated time together can reignite excitement in your relationship, even amidst the busyness of raising young children.

Planning intimacy can be as simple as choosing a night each week to prioritize each other. When you’re intentional, even small gestures become meaningful moments.

3. Improving Communication

Talking about scheduling intimacy encourages open communication about your needs and desires as a couple. Discussing what works best for both of you fosters mutual understanding and reduces the likelihood of unmet expectations or misunderstandings.

This practice also teaches you to navigate tricky schedules together, strengthening your teamwork as parents and partners.

4. Modeling a Healthy Relationship for Your Children

Your children learn about relationships by observing you. By making time for your marriage, you’re showing them that a loving partnership involves effort, care, and prioritization. This sets a powerful example of what a healthy relationship looks like.

5. Reducing Stress and Strengthening Your Partnership

Physical intimacy releases endorphins and reduces stress, something every parent of toddlers can appreciate! When you and your spouse feel connected, you’re better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting together. Scheduling intimacy helps create a supportive, loving foundation that benefits your entire family.

Practical Tips for Scheduling Intimacy

• Plan Around Your Children’s Routine: Use nap times, early bedtimes, or preschool hours to carve out moments for each other.
• Keep It Flexible: Life with toddlers is unpredictable. Be willing to adjust plans if needed, and don’t let missed opportunities discourage you.
• Make It Fun: Surprise your spouse with a handwritten note or a favorite treat to build anticipation for your planned time together.
• Invest in Help: If possible, arrange for a babysitter or enlist a family member to give you uninterrupted time.

Essentially...

While the idea of scheduling intimacy might initially feel unromantic, it’s a practical and thoughtful way to prioritize your marriage during one of the most demanding stages of parenthood. Remember, your relationship is the cornerstone of your family’s happiness. By nurturing it, you’re not only investing in your marriage but also creating a stable, loving environment for your children to thrive in. Don't forget, you two came first, and when the kids grow up and move out, you two will remain, so take care of each other in ALL ways if you know what I'm saying.